Shut me up
by reallycorkingtoseeyou
Summary: Deadpool is dangerous, totally insane. There is no doubt in Peter's mind that this is true. But After the Merc gets him out of a pretty sticky situation, Peter can't help but give him a second chance. Between all the crazy adventures, his and Mary-Jane's relationship on the rocks and a good amount people disappearing off the streets, how will Peter's feelings change for the Merc?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The cold winter wind hit Peter like a slap in the face as he swung through the streets of New York. Though it was a considerably late hour, the city's nightlife was still bustling. The breeze seeped through his Spiderman mask so he could barely feel his cheeks. Despite this, Peter didn't seem to be slowed down by the cold.

Some people waved at the passing by superhero. Peter would gladly wave back, thankful that not everyone sees him as a public menace. A yawn crept up in his throat, dreading that he'd have to wake up for college tomorrow. The city patrols were a daily thing, so balancing his studying, assignments, superhero duties and job at the Daily Bugle didn't leave much time to sleep for the young superhero. Let's just say coffee is Peter's best friend.

With an unfinished report sitting at the back of his mind, Peter decided to call in a night. He turned back towards the direction of his home. He leaped from rooftop to rooftop, keeping in the shadows.

Peter's spidey senses started to twinge, having the biggest feeling that he was being followed. So, he landed onto the nearest rooftop in perfect format. He took position at the edge of the building, keeping an ear out for any danger, but the only thing he heard was the distant sound of the city. He inhaled in and out softly, enjoying the silence.

"Maybe I'm just being paranoid," Peter mumbled, relaxing his muscles and letting his eyes close for a second.

At that moment his spidey senses went crazy, but before he had time to react, a flash of red tackled him off the ledge. Soon Peter found himself, along with his attacker, falling. The attacker clutched onto Peter, his manic laughter ringing in his ears.

"Let me _goooooo_." Peter cried, trying to gain the upper hand. He extended his arms as his web shooters shot out his only chance of survival. The web clutched onto a building, but the ground was getting closer and closer. Peter squeezed his eyes shut waiting for impact, but the web caught him just in time, only a few feet above the ground.

Peter re-opened his eyes, letting out a sigh of relief, only to recall the cause of this near-death experience was still clutching onto him. He looked down at the red and black suited man hanging onto his waist. Deadpool.

"WOOO! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!" He cheered as if he just got off a roller-coaster. Peter let out a grunt. Of course it was Deadpool. This guy was particularly known for his dangerous impulses and psychotic attributes. Peter can say he's had the displeasure of teaming up with the mercenary a few times and finds him reckless, distracting and most of all, annoying! Who else is crazy enough to free fall off a building.

him reckless, distracting and most of all, annoying! Who else is crazy enough to free fall off a building.

Peter pried the Merc's arms off his waist, causing him to fall the little distance between them and the ground. He landed with a thud.

"Hey!" Deadpool complained to the young superhero. "So not cool, dude. Is that how to treat a friend?"

Peter let go the web, perfectly landing on his feet, and shadowed over the anti-hero.

"We're not friends." He said through gritted teeth as Deadpool pushed himself off the ground. He brushed off the dirt from his suit, before looking up at his favourite spider-themed superhero.

"Yeah, you're right, we're more like lovers."

"Never," Peter growled.

"Partners?"

"Nope."

"Ouch, that hurt, Spidey," Deadpool said, putting his hand on the wrong side of his chest. "Someone's grouchy, what's got your spandex in a twist?"

"The maniac who just pushed me off a building," Peter replied in a deadpan tone. Deadpool giggled.

"Oh Spidey, you're making me blush!" Deadpool flirted bashfully, waving a hand at him. Peter sneered, shaking his head. Peter turned his back on him but the Merc refused to give up without a fight, he launched after him, clutching on to the Spider's leg like a little kid.

"Don't ignore me!" He whined, being dragged along as Peter tried to walk away. Peter gave his leg a good shake, but Deadpool wouldn't budge.

' _Ignore him Parker'_ Peter thought to himself. _'He has to spot at some point."_

"Notice me senpai!"

But he didn't.

Peter walked around three blocks in the backstreets of New York and Deadpool was still clinging onto the hero's leg for dear life.

"Senpai, notice me!"

Peter refused to pay an attention, until he felt a hand snake up his inner thigh. Alarm bells went off in Peter's head. He quickly shoved Deadpool 0ff his leg, the merc obliging this time. He could feel his face going red under his mask. Curses ran through his mind as Peter tried his best to calm down.

"Spidey, you alright?" Deadpool called after him as the superhero walked away from him. "Hey buddy I didnt-"

Peter finally had it, he blew up. He span around and grabbed Deadpool by the suit, before smashing him against the wall. He forcefully pushed Deadpool against the alley walls. Oddly, the mercenary didn't fight back, not that Peter even noticed anyway. Somehow, he forgot he was going up against a professional killer.

"For the last time!" He bellowed, pushing all his weight onto the Merc. "I'm not your lover, I'm not your partner, and I am definitely not your friend. So stay away from me"

There were a tense few seconds where nothing was said, the two were locked in an intense stare. Then a faded scream was heard in the distance. Peter let go of Deadpool's suit and took a step back, still locked in forceful glares.

"I have work to do." He snarled, turning around to swing off, but not before turning back to give one last warning.

"Stay out of my way."

With that, Spiderman turned away to find the source of the screams, leaving Deadpool alone in the dark ally.

* * *

Spiderman pushed Wade against the alley wall with great force. The Merc couldn't help but think that this looked like the start of a really hot fanfiction. Wade could have easily fought back, hell, he could have snapped the pint-size hero into a pretzel if he wanted to, but in all honesty, he would never lay a hand on his idol. He's always looked up to the webbed hero, wishing he could be more like him.

 **(Yellow): You're no Spiderman.**

 _(White): Never was-_

 _ **(Yellow): Never will be-**_

 _(White): You're the bad guy. Might as well act like one._

 **(Yellow): Pretzel time!**

Wade tried his best to block out the annoying voices ringing through his head. Instead, he focused on the beloved Spiderman, waiting for him to make his next move.

"For the last time!" He yelled, Wade, feeling his hot breath through his mask. "I'm not your lover, I'm not your partner, and I am not your friend. So stay away from me"

 **(Yellow): Ouch, right up main street!**

They held that position for a moment, intense glares holding. If Wade wasn't so offended by the Spider's word, he'd probably be really turned on right now. But he _was_ offended. The webbed hero's words cut through him worst than any blade ever has.

But Wade couldn't say he was surprised.

There was a cry in the distance. Spiderman let go of his leather suit, taking a step back, his gaze never leaving Deadpool's.

"I have work to do." He snarled, turning away from the mercenary. Before he swung off, he gave Wade his last warning.

"Stay out of my way."

And then he was gone. Wade stood alone in the dark alley, watching his hero going off to do what he does best, help people. An odd wave of self-pity washed over him.

 _(White): You disgust me._

 **(Yellow) You know, I could really go for some pretzels right now.**

* * *

Not far away, Peter found a group of hooded men surrounding an elderly man. effect He stood above them, counting all the figures. Six, he counted six.

' _ehh, that's not so bad.'_

Peter readjusted his web shooters and stretched his limbs a bit, before slowly descended the building behind the group, making sure he was covered by shadow.

"Come with us," the leader ordered, holding up a gun to the man. "and we'll let you live."

"How about, you let him go anyway, and I'll go easy on your sorry behinds?"

The group swivelled around sharply, only to find the friendly neighborhood Spiderman emerge from the shadow. Now with their attention fully on the masked hero, the victim took this time to escape. One of the men raised a gun at the fleeing senior, but it was webbed out his hand before he could fire it. Five more guns were raised.

"C'mon guys, let's play nicely."

Shots were fired. Spiderman flipped out of the way, dodging the firing bullets. More webs were shot, pulling the guns out of the men's hands. He checked to make sure the victim got away safely, before turning back to the bad guys. Now with all men disarmed, this should be an easy fight. The six men surrounded Peter, waiting to catch him off guard.

"Six against one? That doesn't really seem fair." One of the men went to strike, But Spiderman easily flipping over him, tripping him up with his webs. "I mean, for you guys."

Peter was caught mid-quip when one of the men flung him against the wall with immense force. He bashed into it hard, pain exploding from his head. He raised his hand, waiting for his webs to extend out of his wrists, but his web shooters gave a few sparks and died on him. They obviously busted from when he hit the wall.

'Okay, it looks like we have to do this the old-fashioned way.'

The men took advantage while the hero was down, one of them grabbing him by the collar to take a swing at him. Peter got the upper hand, hitting him right in the eye. To his surprise, the man didn't even react. With the hero taken aback, the goon took this time to throw a punch to his nose. Before Peter had time to react to the pain, he was pinned down by two other guys, while another got a good blow in his gut. Soon Peter managed to get a good kick in before regaining his stance. There was no way these guys were just muggers, whoever these guys were, they knew what they were doing.

"Wow, you guys are really giving me a run for my money." The hero huffed out of breath.

Spiderman kept up the fight, but these guys threw back twice as hard, without even breaking a sweat. Something was off. A final bash into the wall finished him. He bounced off the wall and crashed down to the ground, finding great difficulty picking himself up. He could hear the snickers of his opponents as the leader picked up Peter by the collar. Peter could see a smirk under the hood. He was then thrown back on the floor, hitting the ground with a thud. The men crowded over the young hero, obviously not finished with him. Peter mind raced tiring to find any way to get out of this situation, but with his broken web shooter and a defiantly busted rib, the chances seemed slim.

BANG

One of the men collapsed, howling in pain as he clutched his left leg. Peter had no idea what was happening, he was just relieved for the distraction. The men picked up the bleeding man off the ground. It looked like he's been shot. Peter painfully raised himself from the floor, crouching low not to get hit by any stray bullets. Another shot fired, hitting another man in the shoulder before a tall figure steps out of the shadows, the blades on his back gleaming off the street lights. The red and black suited mercenary stepped into the light.

"That was a warning shot," Deadpool growled, lifting his gun up to eye level. "Next one's going straight in-between the eyes."

At the sight of Deadpool, the hooded men seemed to realize they were outmatched. They scattered off, tails in-between their legs. Once they were out of sight, Deadpool rushed over to Peters side, checking for any serious injuries. Peter took a hitched breath as the Merc felt up the young hero's sides.

"Relax," The man behind the leather mask acknowledged. "I'm only checking for injuries."

Deadpool pulled away his hands, before letting out a grunt.

"I think you've got a couple of sprained ribs, and probably a broken collarbone." He murmured.

But Peter didn't take any notice. He stared straight at the mercenary, a dazed glance under his mask as he tried to work out what just happened.

"You didn't kill them." He said slowly. "You could have killed them, but…. you didn't."

Deadpool is notorious for his mercenary work. He killed to make a living, quite literally, and he was damn good at it. Peter was as sure as hell he would never miss such an easy target. He had all the chances in the world to kill every one of those men. So why didn't he?

Deadpool let out a sarcastic laugh

"You really do think that bad of me, don't you?"

A wave of guilt washed over Peter. He said some pretty harsh things to the anti-hero who just got him out of quite a sticky situation. He groaned mentally. _'Good job, Parker, you're officially the world's biggest asshole.'_

Deadpool pulled Peter onto his feet. He dusted the hero off, before snaking his arm under Peter's. The two limped out of the alley without a word. Deadpool was being unusually quiet, not even passing any ridiculous joke, or annoying flirtation. Peter didn't like the silence. He sighed.

"Look, Deadpool-"

Peter's apology was interrupted by the overwhelming sensation that something horrible was going to happen. Not even seconds later the sound of screeching wheels rang through the street. A dark van came into sight. The door slipped open and one of the guys from before poked out of the door. Before Peter even knew what was happening, a shot rang through his ears. He found himself to be pushed painfully to the ground. Next thing he knew the van had sped off into the darkness.

Peter's mind was still buzzing when it was all over. As his adrenaline level started to decrease, he suddenly became very aware of what happened. Deadpool's body was pressed onto his, blood trickling down the mercenary's back, onto Peter's suit. The panic set in.

Images of Uncle Ben came flashing through mind. Though it happened when he was fifteen, he still remembers every detail of it. The flashing lights of the police cars, Uncle Ben lying in a pool of blood. That last voicemail played through his head, over and over.

"You're my hero, and I love you."

Peter was no stranger to close calls. But this time, _this_ time, he became painfully aware of how close he came this time. He was seconds away from being shot. He was seconds away from going down just like Uncle Ben. What would happen to his Aunt May if he died? And the city? What would they think became of their local hero? If Deadpool hadn't been there….

He saved him.

Deadpool saved him.

Peter felt the Merc begin to breathe against his chest. Soon a groan escaped his lips Deadpool shakily pushed himself up, only to seem to remember the young hero squirming underneath him.

"Oh, hey Spidey." He said, his deep voice cracking slightly. "watch ya doing down there?"

Shivers went down the young man's spine. Deadpool has an excellent healing factor, far better than his own. He's survived pretty much everything, from being blown up to having his head smashed to smithereens by the Hulk.

Peter took a hitched breath, before letting out a deep sigh of relief.

"I forgot you could to that." He said, his voice coming out a lot smaller than he meant it . He could almost see the smug look on the Merc's face as he gave a snort.

"Aww, you do care!" He teased.

Deadpool picked himself up, before peeling Peter off the sidewalk. He tried to walk by himself but wobbled with each step. Deadpool went to help, but the young hero dismissed him. He took a few more shaky steps before his knees gave in and Deadpool was right there to catch him. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks, mentally cursing at his vulnerable state. He was shaking uncontrollably under the Merc's arms, and he seemed very aware of it.

"C'mon, baby boy. Let's go get some breakfast."

Soon the two found themselves on the roof of the nearest Chinese restaurant, masks past their noses, watching the sun peek out in the distance. Deadpool greedily chowed down his food, the little box never kept further than a few inches away from his face. Peter, however, pushed his noodles around with a chopstick.

"Dude, if you're not gonna eat that, I will," Deadpool said with a mouthful. Peter replied with a hum, not really taking notice of the mercenary. Deadpool seemed to notice the lack of snarky comments.

"I know I'm not exactly your favorite person," Deadpool started, gaining the Spider's attention. "But if you need a heart to heart right now, I'm here. And I don't give a crap about all that hyper-masculinity shit. Fuck 'no homo', you can be as homo as you like. You won't hear me complaining."

Peter found himself laughing to that, before turning serious again. He was concerned how tempted he was to take up the mercenary offer. Only a few hours ago, he was sure he hated the guy, but now...he wasn't too sure.

' _Maybe you're being too hard on the guy. He just saved your life, cut him some slack.'_

Peter let out a sigh.

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said earlier." He said heavily. "I acted like a huge-"

"Douche?" Deadpool offered lightly. Peter let out a sheepish laugh, his guilt coming back to him.

"Yeah, that."

Deadpool hummed in agreement. He stayed quiet for a moment as if he were thinking, before giving a dry laugh.

"You make it look so damn easy." He said, sounding he was talking more to himself than to Peter.

"Make what look easy?" Peter questioned, wondering what the anti-hero was on about.

"Being…you!" Peter still didn't get what he meant by that, so Deadpool elaborated. "Being good. Being a hero. You make it all look so easy. I've done shit, really, really bad shit. And I know I can't do anything to take that back. But then I see the things you do and I start thinking, hey maybe I could do that…"

"You can," Peter said before thinking it through. He mentally cursed at himself. What was he even saying? So Deadpool saved his life, he's also killed many others. In cold blood. Deadpool's not the type of guy Peter can save.

So why was every fiber of his being telling him otherwise?

"If you're being serious about turning over a new leaf, then I say go for it." Peter continued. He thought about next words very carefully. "And if you need a little moral guidance, I'm all for it."

"So we can be besties?" Deadpool asked excitedly, his child-like tone seeming very out of place with his deep voice.

"I didn't say that!" Peter said quickly waving his hands at the Merc. "I just meant, if you ever wanted to hang out, I wouldn't _refuse_."

Peter could see Deadpool smile under his mask. Peter gulped, hoping he didn't just make the biggest mistake of his life. Soon after that the two red-suited heroes exchanged numbers and went their separate ways. The Merc offered Peter to guide him home safely, but Peter declined this offer. Just because he was willing to trust the mercenary, didn't mean he wanted him to know where he lived.

Peter limped through the back streets of New York in the early morning sunlight, everywhere would ache with every move. He looked forward to the company he'd have when he'd finally reached home.

Peter felt more than relieved his apartment building came into vision. He slowly trudged up the fire escape, tapping on the window softly when he finally reached his bedroom he shared with his girlfriend, Mary Jane. Peter peered into the dark room, a figure at the other side began to shift. Soon the window was pushed open and the beautiful Mary Jane popped her head out.

"Peter?" She said groggily, squinting at the early sun.

"The one and only." Peter laughed softly, before climbing into bedroom. Peter pried his mask off and threw it aside. He dragged his feet across the small bedroom, collapsing onto the bed. He could still feel Mary Jane's warmth linger on the sheets. He inhaled her scent, feeling at home.

"Try not to bleed all over the bed again." Mary Jane called, fetching a basin of water and cloth to clean his wounds "The stains are really hard to get out."

"Maybe we should just get red sheets. It'll save you the trouble" Peter said into the pillow when she re-entered the room. Mary Jane gave a snort, pulling out a first aid kit from the back of the wardrobe for when Peter came home in a state. Which has become more frequent lately. Mary Jane sighed, as she sat herself down near her injured boyfriend.

"C'mon tiger, let's get you patched up."

Peter groaned as he slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position. A burning sensation spread through his entire body with every move he made. Mary Jane reached out to him to touch his nose slightly. Peter instantly recoiled in pain.

"Ouch" He whimpered softly.

"Don't be such a baby," Mary Jane scolded. She dipped the cloth into the water and dabbed the blood off Peter's face. She then instructed him to take his suit off so she could see the extent of the damage.

"I picked a good day to wear underwear," Peter commented as he unzipped the back of his suit. Mary Jane let out a laugh. Peter gazed up at his beautiful girlfriend, giving her a smirk.

"Or maybe not."

After prying out of the skin-tight suit, Mary Jane worked on patching him up.

"So, what happened this time, hero?" She asked, not even looking up from her work. Peter began to explain the night, putting a lot of emphases on his situation with Deadpool.

"You attract the weirdest people." Mary Jane laughed, putting the bloody cloth into the red stained basin.

"Boy, do I know it." Peter huffed, before bursting into a rant. "He's insane! A total nut-job! He drives me so crazy I just-"

"Then why did you offer to help him out?" Mary Jane interrupted. Peter opened his mouth to reply but found he didn't have an answer.

"Because…" He started slowly, Mary Jane raising a brow in expectation. "Because one less criminal on the streets makes the world a safer place."

" _Oh, I see_." Mary Jane scoffed, extending every word. A smug look crossed her face as she subtlety shook her head. "As always, you're trying to be the hero,"

"I am a hero." Peter reminded her, gesturing to the abandoned suit on the floor. Mary Jane gave him a pointed look.

"I mean, you're always trying to save people you can't save."

Peter scoffed at this. Mary Jane gave him a light hit on the arm.

"Don't laugh at me Parker, you know I'm right."

Peter continued to shake his head. Mary Jane pushed her lips together in annoyance, knowing that she wasn't going to get through her boyfriend's thick skull.

"You know, for a genius you sure are stupid." She said, placing a gentle hand on Peter's bare chest.

"That's why you love me." Peter said softly, lightly bumping his nose on hers. Mary Jane remained quiet, her eyes averted to his chest. Peter felt a knot tie in his stomach, his growing insecurity coming to the surface. He cupped his girlfriend's face and slowly pressed his lips onto her. Mary Jane kissed him back, but only half-heartedly, before shortly pulling away.

"I need to go," She said in barely a whisper, unable to hide her sad eyes, "I have this project due next week and I have to get an early start on the lab work"

Peter was a little taken aback, but nodded anyway. Mary Jane stood up and got dressed. Before she left Peter gave her one last kiss goodbye, but found it just as empty and unsatisfying as the last.

He softly climbed into his bed, ribs aching with every breath. He climbed into his covers, still lingering Mary Jane's warmth. He looked over at his desk, his unfinished essay still laying there. He turned his back on it, deciding to skip his lectures for that day. Peter closed his eyes, going over current events and wondering how much money it would cost to invest in a therapist.

* * *

A dark van parked in front of a large building, six men piled out of it, all armed and all pretty beaten up. Two men helped a limping man through the door, another pressed a cloth to his bleeding shoulder. The leader of the group walked straight to the secretary's desk, pulling off his hood to reveal a bloody lip. The sectary looked up at the man, not seeming affected by his ghastly appearance.

"Go right in," the sectary responded, and the man walks down the corridor to the left, before walking into the last room down the hall.

"I take your mission was successful?" A voice greeted him as soon as he entered the room. The lights were dim and the man's employer back faced the door, the glow of the computer giving off an ominous affect. The man gave a nasty grin.

"Very." He replied. "got a pretty good look at him. He's fast, light on his feet. And he has a high sense for danger. There's no way we can sneak up on him without him picking up on it."

The man facing the computers hummed in thought.

"And the mercenary?" He asked.

"Came running, just like you said."

"Very good. That is all."

As soon as the man in black left the room the old Doctor gave a wicked smile. He turned back to his computer, opening one of the files. A picture of Peter Parker popped up on the screen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Guess who's still alive!**

 **Hello all. Finally, after a year I've decided to update. I'll try to start updating regularly but if I don't please keep bugging me until I do. Side note, there isn't some Spanish in this chapter, but as I don't speak the language I had to you my old friend google translate, so forgive me for any mistakes. Okay, go forth and read, hope you enjoy it. (as always let me know what you think) xx**

* * *

Chapter 2

It was a couple of weeks later when Peter heard from Deadpool again. He was getting ready for a late lunch date with Mary Jane and her family and was absolutely dreading it. He's dealt with supervillains of all shapes and sizes, but nothing terrifies him more then Mary Jane's Grandmother. Never has he ever seen eye's so cold and lifeless. Oh and lets not forget the old aunts 'subtlety' asking when he and their niece getting married.

" _My, you and Mary Jane have been seeing each other for quite some time, haven't you?" One of them would ask._

" _Will we be hearing wedding bells anytime soon?" The other would continue._

This never failed to annoy him.

Not that he didn't _want_ to marry Mary Jane, of course he did. She was great! Everything he's ever wanted. Beautiful, smart _and_ , crazy of all, she puts up with him, which is nothing short of a miracle! She was the one, Peter was sure of it.

It's just…..

With everything going on, lectures, work, spiderman, it wasn't the right time. It would take up a lot of time and energy that Peter just doesn't have at the moment. Lets not forget about _money_! It causes him anxiety just _thinking_ about it. No, right now is not the time, he wasn't ready to deal with all that.

Peter gave a grunt as he struggled with his tie. The TV blared on in the background.

"… _.a number of local homeless people have been disappearing off the street. Authorities say…"_

His phone started buzzing on the coffee table. Peter gave up on his tie and crossed over to the living room, turning off the TV whilst doing so. He looked down at his phone, Deadpool's name popping up on the screen. A strange feeling fluttered in Peter's stomach. He's be lying if he said he hasn't been thinking about the Merc since their last encounter. He took a deep breath, before accepting the call.

"Yo, Spidey! How's it hanging?" Deadpool's voice came through the other line, not even giving Peter a chance to speak. "Ha! Hanging, get it? Cause you're-"

"Spiderman. Yeah a get it." Peter finished off, fidgeting with his tie that hung loose around his neck. "What's up? Everything okay?"

"Well since you asked," Deadpool started, his voice light and chirpy. "Have you ever heard of Mercs for Money?"

"No…" Peter stated, suspicion creeping up in his tone.

"Well, we're a bunch of kick- ass, superpowered guys. We take on gigs, spreading good around the globe, yadda, yadda, yadda. Anyway, a gang of shit-biscuits took over the main bank in Mexico City. They're holding a few people hostage and they're threatening to blow the whole place up. A friend called us in. Thought we could use your help. You in?"

Peter bit his lip, hesitating slightly.

"Mexico…. I don't know…"

"What you got against Mexico?"

"Nothing it's just-I have- things to do…"

Deadpool snorted on the other line.

"Wait, wait, don't tell me, homework?"

"Assignments." Peter corrected irritably, pushing his lips together in a pout. Deadpool barked out a laugh.

"And that's not it," Peter replied quickly, his cheeks growing hot. "I have a family thing with my girl-"

""Are you seriously telling me you're going to ditch a trip to Mexico for tea and fancy sandwiches with your girlfriend's family?"

"I-"

"Unless you're trying to stock up on brownie points, _then_ you'd have my blessings. Do you do it on the ceiling? And also are you're Spidey webs anything like your-"

"Okay!" Peter cut him off, not wanting him to finish that sentence. "Okay, I'll go to Mexico with you."

"Great! I'll text you the deets."

A sigh left Peter's lips, knowing there was no way of talking his way out of this. Well at least it gets him out of that stupid lunch date.

"Just no killing, okay?"

"Right, no killing. Scout's honour!"

And with that, the Merc hung up.

"Scout's honour." Peter scoffed, shaking his head. Not even a minute later he received a text, giving his all the information he needed, along with a bunch of hearts and smiley faces. Peter looked down at his phone, a smile creeping up on his face. He shook his head. _'We're not friends, I'm just helping him out.'_

"MJ!" Peter called. Soon the redhead pops out of the bedroom, all dressed up in a pretty purple dress. Peter felt a wave of guilt washing over him, this not being the first time he baled on her for a mission.

"Listen, something came up. I have to go to Mexico, urgent business."

Mary Jane raised an eyebrow, a bitter look forming on her face. Peter took a gulp, knowing he was in trouble. She held a sharp glance for 10 seconds before stepping back into the bedroom, continuing to get ready.

"Fine,' She replied cooling, pushing her hair out of the way to latch on a necklace "stay safe."

Peter, who picked up on her passive aggressiveness tone, scratched the back of his neck, his gangly form stood awkwardly in the door way.

"I'll make it up to you," He offered meekly. "I promise."

"'You promise.'" She scoffed as she put her earnings on, not even glancing at Peter through the mirror.

Peter took this as his cue to leave. He shuffled across his room for his suit, tossing the dreaded tie aside, and quickly left, before Mary Jane decided to show her full wrath.

The group was rounded up and in Mexico in under two hours, with the help of Deadpool's wicked cool Dead-Jet. They made their way to the bank were it was surrounded by crowds, ambulances, police cars and an entire squat team, gun's ready to fire. A man wearing a cheap, tattered version of Deadpool's suit stepped out of the crowd to greet the group.

"Deadpool, amigo mío, gracias por venir a ayudar cuando mi gente lo necesita más. Eres un buen hombre." He said, shaking Deadpool's hand. Deadpool clapped him on the shoulder.

"No problem man, anything for a friend." Deadpool said, before turning to his webbed comrade, giving his a rough pat on the back.

"This is Spiderman. Spiderman, this is my old pal Massacre."

"Encantado de conocerte, señor." Massacre said, shaking the Spider's hand. Spiderman hesitated, not understanding a word he said, so he turned to Deadpool.

"He says your ass looks pretty fine today." He gushed, then waving his hand before adding "Oh and something about being nice to meet you."

Spiderman nodded, a little flustered by Deadpool's comment, and returned Massacre's handshake.

"Back at ya'," He replied, before stumbling back on his words. "Not about the first part! About the, About the second- ah you get what I mean."

Deadpool turned to one of the guys in the crowd, asking him what was going on. The man said something in Spanish and Deadpool nodded in understatement. He then turned to the web slinger, who was waiting for information.

"There's a bunch of them," He explained. "They have a couple hostages, like nine or ten. They've got all the enterers surrounded. Their threatening to blow the place up. One wrong move and this place will be nothing but rubble and body parts."

"Okay guys, huddle up." Deadpool ordered. The group huddled together, waiting for further instructions. The group consisted of eight people. Deadpool, Spiderman, Massacre, Domino, Gorilla Man, Hit-Monkey, Machine Man and Negasonic Teenage Warhead.

"Now, before we get going," He began, looking over at all his super-powered companions. "I'd like to introduce ourselves to Spidey over here. I'll start. Hi, I'm Deadpool and I'm here because-"

"Cut the crap, Dead-Ass." Negasonic snapped, raising a sarcastic eyebrow.

"She's right, we don't have time to get acquainted with one another." Machine Man agreed.

"Okay, okay. Fine, we'll do it as we go along." Deadpool huffed. "Anyone got a plan?"

"Since when do we ever go by a plan?" Gorilla Man grunted. "We can just bust in there, guns blazin'."

"No, you heard what that guy said, one wrong move we're all done for it." Spiderman argued.

"La araña tiene razón, tenemos que hacer esto bien." Massacre added.

-"Okay, I think I have a plan." The wall-crawler began. "But we're gonna need a distraction."

All heads turned towards Deadpool. Deadpool looked up at Spiderman.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Go in there and be as annoying as possible."

A grin could be seen forming under Deadpool's mask.

"Bring it."

Soon the eight superheroes took their position, with Deadpool in the front-line, bullhorn in hand. When he was given the signal, he flipped on the switch of his bullhorn and carelessly stepped through the bank's main entice, ignoring the officers' shouts not to.

As soon as Deadpool stepped through the doors, shots rang out in his ear as bullets priced through his body. Despite being vigorously shot at, he walked on in, giving a good distance between him and the exit.

"Detener!" A man cried out, making himself visible to the Merc. "Un movimiento más y te volaremos los sesos!"

"Yeesh, who came up with the Spanish in this fic, google translate?" Deadpool scoffed before putting the bullhorn in front of his mouth.

"Sup guys, mind if I crash the party?" The Merc bellowed through his bullhorn.

"Un movimiento más y dispararemos!" They threatened.

"I didn't hear a no!" Deadpool sang. "By the way, loving the all black look, it's very slimming. And the scarf covering your face thing hides your fugly ass mugs perfectly!"

"¿Qué está diciendo este idiota?" One of the men yelled to the other.

"¿Quién da una mierda? Acaba de matarlo!"

The Merc's eyes subtly shifted above the gunmen's heads. He saw Spiderman climbing through the skylight, Hit-Monkey close behind. The Spider gave him a quick thumbs up before the two scaled down the high ceiling. Deadpool gave a smirk.

"Hey guys can we hurry this up a little. There's someone I'm trying to impress and-"

One of the gunmen shot the bullhorn right out of Deadpool's hand.

" Motherfucker!" Deadpool cursed back. "That cost me like $19.99!"

The Merc pulled out a gun and shot one of the gang members before anyone had any time to react. The gunman dropped to the ground, clutching his injured arm. The other gang members shot back, bullets coming from every direction. Pellets shot right through the man in red, the gunmen astonished that he was still standing. Five more men joined the fight.

"Oh! I didn't know we could bring friends!" Deadpool exclaimed over the gunshots. He gave a loud whistle. The ground shook as a gap opened in one of the walls. The dust cleared as Negasonic stepped through the clearing, looking down at her phone. She lifted a finger to signal everyone to wait.

"Just give her a second," Deadpool said to the confused gunmen. Negasonic dropped her hand, before tossing her phone aside. Before anyone knew what was going on, the teenager knocked one of the guys off feet, slamming him a few feet in the air.

"Whoa, easy there, tiger." Deadpool laughed. Soon Gorilla Man, Massacre and Machine Man ran in through the gaping hole in the wall.

And so, the real fight began.

Down the hall, one of the gang members heard all the commotion and rushed to get the hell out. He clutched onto his duffle-bag fill with money and called out to his partners but didn't get a reply. He turned to the next corner, hearing a faint noise. The hall was empty, but the noises continued. It wasn't until he looked up did he realize what was happening. One of his fellow gang members struggled against the ceiling.

The guy reached for his gun, but he was too late. Out of nowhere, he found himself being slammed into the wall by a flash of red. He found himself unable to move, glued to the wall.

"Looks like you're in a pretty sticky situation." Spiderman's obnoxious voice came into earshot.

Another gang-member came up behind him with a knife. The web- slinger dodged the attack, knocking the knife out of their hand. The attacher was significantly smaller then him, So Peter got the upper hand right away, twisting the their arm around their back, restraining them from fighting back. The scarf slipped off the attacker's face, revealing a young woman, panting heavily as she tried to get the upper hand.

"I know taxes are killer," The masked hero started, "but have you ever thought of a line of work a little less illegal? I hear Dentists have a pretty good salary."

She spat at him.

"Okay, okay. How about bank- heh, okay maybe not..."

He restrained her securely, leaving her struggling and cursing with her other webbed up gang members, before putting the duffle-bag safely out of reach. Peter checked his watch under his suit.

Took them all down in five minutes flat. Awesome.

"C'mon guys," He droned mockingly. "That was too easy."

At that moment Hit-Monkey and Domino came darting down the hall, calling for Spiderman's attention.

"Hey, hero!" Domino barked. "Can you stop talking long enough to focus?"

"Did you find them?" The Spider asked, ignoring the comment. The two nodded. "Good, Domino go find the bomb, me and Hit Monkey will get the hostages out safely."

"Gotcha, kid," Domino replied before disappearing down the hall. Peter turned to Hit-Monkey, giving him the go-ahead to lead the way. He was lead right in front of a locked door. Hit-Monkey reaches for a lock picker from inside his suit. Peter signaled him to stop.

"No need. I got this." He said, before forcefully kicking the door down. Inside, a group of scared people huddled up in a corner.

"It's okay guys, we're here to help. What I'm gonna do is-" The webbed hero was only greeted back with blank stares. "And you have no idea what I'm saying, do you? It's fine, just let us take care of it."

One by one, Peter helped lower down each hostage from a window three stories up. Once down, each person disappeared into the crowd to their families' arms.

a window three stories up. Once down, each person disappeared into the crowd to their families' arms.

"Gracias, Spiderman!" A little boy called as he was being rushed away by his mother. He gave a wave back.

"Hey hero, we could really use your help down here!"

Peter rushed to the main entrance where the others were handling the rest of the gang. He soon found found himself back to back with no other then the Merc himself. Deadpool shielded Peter while the web-slinger got a good shot in.

"Bet this is more fun than some stuffy tea party, huh?" Deadpool hooted over the gunshots. Peter, kicking a gang member across the room, laughed in reply.

"Defiantly!" He admitted.

Deadpool swung around the wall-crawler and took down a couple of guys, swiftly followed by the wall-crawler webbing them up with just one shot. Peter hated to admit it, but he and Deadpool made a good team. Scratch that, they make a great team. A funny feeling came over him when he thought about it, but not in a bad way, which worried Peter even more.

Peter's thoughts were drawn back into the fight when Deadpool swivelled around him to block the young hero from getting hit by an oncoming bullet. He raised his gun and shot the gunman square in the chest. A wave of anxiety hit Peter as the gunman fell back.

"You swapped to the rubber pellets, right?" He asked wearily.

"I'm pretty sure I did," Deadpool replied unsurely.

"Deadpool, I swear to-"

"I did, I did! Hear the groaning? Everyone's fine!"

Before the webbed hero could reply, Domino came darting in carrying something under her arms.

"I got it!" She called to her teammates, holding up the inactivated time bomb.

"Great!" Deadpool called back, then turned to address his team, "let's wrap this thing up and get outta-"

Before Deadpool could finish his sentence, one of the gunmen forcefully tackled Domino to the ground, sending the bomb flying. Hit Monkey was the first to react, catching it in mid-air before safely hit the ground.

Peter let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. The whole team gave a sigh of relief, only to be horror-stricken once more when a ticking noise met their ears. Hit Monkey moved to his thumb, realizing he must have hit one on the buttons in the catch.

 **5 minutes on the clock.**

All the conscious gunmen hit the ground in panic, screaming things Peter couldn't really understand. The team rushed into action, panic overcoming them.

"Wait, wait!" Deadpool intervened. "Let me try something."

Deadpool carelessly grabbed the bomb and examined it, before pressing all the buttons seemingly randomly.

"What are you doing!?" Peter yelled in panic, his hands flying up to his head.

The bomb gave a beep. The time was halved.

 **Two minutes fifty seconds.**

"Hand it over," Domino ordered. She was passed on the briefcase-shaped bomb and opened it up quickly examine.

"It's shabbily made." She announced to the group huddling around her.

"That makes it easier to defuse, right?" Peter asked hopefully, shadowing over her shoulder.

"No. It makes it more unstable." Domino replied grimly, taking another look at the box. "One wrong move can set it off, but I think I can-"

"Just do anything!" Machine Man interrupted. Domino tinkered with the wires skilfully, hands quickly moving around the bottoms and codes.

 **15 seconds**

"There's a password," Domino called out, looking up at her teammates. "If we get it will be fine."

"And if we don't?" Gorilla man asked.

"Then we're dead." Negasonic snapped, sending him a forceful glare.

"Shh guys! I'm thinking." Domino barked, holding her temple in thought.

"Well if you could think a little faster," Deadpool retorted at the back of the group.

 **"C** állate idiotas y deja que trabaje!" Massacre snapped.

 **10 seconds.**

The bomb started beeping furiously, it's light flashing bright red.

"I could try something.." Domino started surly "But I don't-"

"Do it! _[hazlo!]_ " the group exclaimed in panic.

 **5 seconds.**

Domio's hands darted around the coding. A bead of sweat running down her forehead.

 **3 seconds.**

Peter's core clenched tight, waiting for impact.

 **2 seconds.**

A hand grabbed onto Peter's wrist.

 **1 second.**

"Get down!"

The whole team fell to the floor, arms over heads to protect themselves from the oncoming blast. Peter was pulled down to the ground, someone crouched over him in protection. They held in this position for a second, two seconds, three. Nothing happened.

Peter let out a long sigh in relief, his tight muscles loosening significantly. The figure on top of him relaxed as well, their body resting against Peters back, before finally rolling off. The young hero looked up to find Deadpool lying next to him, his hand holding his chest as he exhaled in relief.

"You did it!" Gorilla man exclaimed happily, pushing himself of the ground.

"Thata girl!" Deadpool bellowed, patting Domino roughly on the back. The team all peeled themselves off the floor to gather round the girl who just saved their lives.

"Chica brillante, nos has salvado!"

"We owe you big time, Domino!"

"Ooohh eeee!"

"How'd you get the password anyway?" Spiderman asked.

"I guessed," Domino replied with a lopsided grin.

"You guessed?" Peter repeated in disbelief "You put our lives on the line for a guess?"

"Domino's kinda like the team's lucky charm," Deadpool explained, affectionately tossing his arm around her shoulder. "Kinda like our own personal rabbit's foot."

"I'm honored," Domino replied sarcastically, pushing Deadpool's arm away.

"So what was it?" Negasonic asked. "What was the password."

A smile played on Domino's lips as she answered.

"I, 2, 3, 4, 6."

The team paused for a second, before bellowing in a chorus of laughter.

* * *

After a long day for fighting bad guys and almost dying, the team took advantage of their location and found the closest cheap taco hut in the area. The superhero group squeezed into a booth and chowed down on their spicy food while swapping stories and exchanging banter.

Everyone was in a pretty cheery mood by the time they were dropped off home. The dead-jet landed on the outskirts of New York and everyone said their goodbye there. Spiderman and Deadpool walked back into the city together.

"Gosling all the way!" Deadpool stated proudly as they walked through the back streets of New York.

"No way!" Spiderman argued back, disbelief in his tone. "How can you say that? Reynolds gets my vote!"

" _Bullshit!_ Have you even _seen_ him in The Note Book? I cried like a fucking baby!" Deadpool pressed on. "and La la land! You can't forget about La la land!"

"Not my favourite." Spidey shrugged, laughing at the Mercs eccentric nature. Deadpool threw his hands over her head.

"What! Have you no soul!?" He cried dramatically, making the web-slinger laugh even harder. It took the two men a few minutes to compose themselves, clutching their knees as they did so. Wade didn't know were this friendly nature that Spiderman adopted with him came from, maybe somewhere in between the ass-kicking and the gassy trip home. Well where ever it was, he wasn't complaining.

 **(yellow): It definitely wasn't from the trip home. Man, that was nasty!**

 _(white): I told you, you shouldn't have had that extra burrito._

 **(Yellow): You're** _ **so**_ **gonna regret that later.**

"Okay, okay," Wade wheezed, trying to regain his breath. "Seriously though, Gosling won a Golden Globe, Reynolds got swat."

"Yeah," Spiderman replied, clutching his side. "But Reynolds got to make out with Andrew Garfield that night, so I think he's the real winner here."

Wade stopped to think for a moment.

"Fair point." He admitted with a nod. "You win this round, Spiderman!"

The web-slinger let out a chuckle before the two slipped into silence, a rare luxury for the both of them. There was a certain scene of vulnerability in the air as the two shuffled alongside the street, the setting sun giving off a warm glowing tone.

 _(White): Ah silence at last._

"Well, I think it's about time I get home," Wade announced, finally growing uncomfortable with the lack of words. "This shit is getting way too meta for me."

"Yeah me too," Spidey said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "Ahh...my girlfriend is going to kill me."

"Do you want to crash at my place till she cools off?" Wade offered, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"Nah, it fine," Spiderman replied, beginning to walk the other direction. "Easier just to deal with it now."

"Yeah well, good luck with that." Wade waved off, mentally kicking himself for his awkwardness.

"Bye," Spiderman affirmed, turning to walk away.

 **(Yellow); What the fuck was that, Casanova!?**

 _(White): Could you have been any more pathetic?_

 **(Yellow); We didn't bring you this way!**

 _(White): You blew it!_

 **(Yellow): Like we need even more reasons to hate you** **.**

"Ah, shut up." Deadpool murmured, adjusting the straps of his ammunition bag. He grumpy kicked the dirt under his feet before turning home. At that moment Spiderman turned back.

"Hey," He greeted a little breathlessly.

Wade spun around like a rocket, a bust of hope overcoming him.

"I just wanted to say," Spiderman continued slowly, as though he was trying to pick out the right words, "I had a great time man, so...uh… thanks."

A wide smile stretched across Wade's face, making his blistered skin crack and sting a little. A strange warm feeling overcame him, his chest filling up with….something. It was a foreign feeling he couldn't quite place.

 **(Yellow): Maybe it's the burritos?**

Happiness.

What he was feeling was happiness.

"Anytime man," Wade replied through his mask covered grin. "We should do it again sometimes."

"Yeah, we should." Spidey agreed. They started drifting away from each other, in preparation for their final goodbye. "Give me a call if you ever want to team up."

"It's a date!" Wade called after the wall-crawler now walking away.

"In your dreams, Deadpool."

"Friends then?"

"Not yet!" Spidey called back in good nature, shaking his head humorously. "By the way, nice bag."

Wade looks down at his Hello kitty backpack, one that he's very fond of.

"Thanks!" Wade answered with a wave.

Spiderman gave him a final wave before dispersing behind the corner for good this time. As soon as he was gone Wade pumped up his fist triumphally.

"Yes!" He chanted victoriously.

 **(Yellow): You're in.**

 _(White): Probably not._

 **(Yellow): Are you kidding me!? We're totally cracking him.**

 _(White): the only crack I see is the one poking out you're back trousers. Pull up your pants man, ain't nobody want to see that shit!_

"You know, you have a point, yellow subtitle box." Wade pondered as he tugged his pants up. "We may not be friends, _yet_. Maybe not _yet_."

Wade's went home feeling better then he's been for a while. He whistled the tune of ' "Bootylicious" all through the downtown backstreets. One stop to a 24-hour fast-food joint, and a few coins to the local homeless man camping in the alleyway across his apartment and he was home, ready to spend the rest of the night watching Gilmore girls and have some intimate time with his unicorn. Things were looking good.

Over in Queens, however, the young Peter Parker was not having such a pleasant evening. Upon arriving home he was greeted with passive aggressive comments, which soon escalated into a lot yelling and shouting. A few harsh words and slammed doors later, Peter found himself lying on his particularly lumpy couch, knowing he wasn't going to get much sleep that night.

* * *

*RING *

*RING *

*RING*

Wade grunted, turning towards his phone, which laid on the bedside table. He waited, hoping it would stop. When it continued to ring, Wade let out a loud groan before swiping the phone off the surface and accepting the call.

"Hello?" He answered gruffly.

The caller's voice came through the phone. Wade gave a deep sigh as he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I got it," Wade grumbled, looking back at his now abandoned unicorn plushy. "Can we hurry this up, I was kinda in the middle of something."

The caller began their explanation. Wade mocked silently as they droned on.

"Yeah, he's cute," Wade said sarcastically as he took out his laptop, opening up the documents that were sent that morning. The computer loaded up the email and information of a new possible mark appeared on the screen. The caller continued to speak.

"Yeah, I know what you want.". He grunted, quickly scanning through the document. "But I don't think this is my kind of thing. I mean; straight A student, about to finish his masters in Materials Science and Engineering, a face that would put Justin Bieber to shame, basically the child my mother _wished_ she had."

The caller spoke once more.

"Yeah, two mysterious deaths that were never really solved. I don't think that calls fo-" Wade was cut off, he listened intently with his brows frowned.

"

I know I don't have to kill him but-" Wade tried to argue back, but the caller continued. Wade listened intently, frowning deeply as they talked.

"How much again?" He enquired.

The caller spoke.

"Okay," Wade answered, even though he still wasn't happy about the situation.

"Okay, yeah. Yeah, I got it."

Wade hung up. He looked down at his phone for a moment, before sitting himself back on the bed. He looked at his unicorn plush again before tossing it aside.

"Sorry precious, not tonight." He sighed. He turned back to his computer, ready to get to work.

"Alright..." He said reading the name off the screen. "Peter Parker, you better watch out."


End file.
